50 Things I Want to Tell My Daughter

Two things have recently prompted some reflection on the messages I want to pass onto my daughter, the values I hold strong, the beliefs that form a strong foundation of who I am, and ultimately, things I want her to know.

She & I were wandering through a book store, flipping through many pages and adventures, when I took the opportunity to purchase some 'classics' - she is already a devotee to 'Cinderella' so to her collection I added 'Sleeping Beauty', 'Snow White' and 'Beauty and the Beast'. She is three, she loves pink, wears dresses all the times, plays dress ups with frills and wands and tiaras, so she adores the princesses abound in fairy tales .... but when reading these books, I found that all three had the exact same concluding line ..... "...and they lived happily ever after.". Naturally, fairy tale endings make you feel all happy and warm and loving, but I have started to notice that in these 'classic' stories that I read an oft helpless woman is literally rescued by the knight riding in on a flashy white horse. Whilst I do want her to always believe that greater things may happen, and beautiful endings are around the corner, I am also adament she doesn't see fit that a prince needs to appear into the scene to 'rescue' her and make this happiness happen. I want my daughter to play an active hand in her life story and the choices she makes.

Last week, I took Tara along to an appointment I had with an accountant. She happily sat in the room occupying herself whilst I busied myself with tax returns and share portfolios. That was, until the accountant said to me "Can I have your email address?" ... then little Miss Three looked up abruptly with great concern and shock on her face, placed her hand on her dress and rather firmly said "No. You cannot have my dress!". Apparent from a very early age, was that this little girl of mine is always going to stand up for herself, and for that, I am very grateful and proud.

Something happens when you become a parent. Never before have I felt the intense desire to show someone else the world, to make sure they have the best of opportunities, the chance to experience different cultures, lives and interests. This sometimes competes with my need to protect her from all the bad and evil in the world, and basically just to know that she is okay and happy at every minute. At age three, I can cuddle her in close (and generally refuse to let go!) and feel, for that part, I am protecting her as much I can. I sometimes fear the times when she doesn't cling to me when she is near, and no longer needs me by her side to do everything. I want to know she is going to be okay in the world.

So my thoughts have moved to those things I see as important and wish to impart to my little girl.....

1. You play a role in having a life story that states "... and they lived happily ever after". Please don't sit around waiting for a fairytale.

2. You are loved more than you perhaps can possibly even imagine. You are an absolute light in the lives of your Daddy & I. Not a day goes by where we don't think about just about how much we love you ... carry this knowledge with you each and every day.

3. No matter how old you are, there will always be room on the couch next to me for you to cuddle in.

4. From the time your ability to form sentences emerged, you have generally always questioned and challenged things. As a Mum to the toddler you, I will not lie, this has sometimes been very frustrating, but I plead with you to never let this enquirying and questioning mind go.

5. Your love of books is something that I love to see. Keep your love of reading and always explore the world through words.

6. Never shy away from the things you love and never be afraid to share these passions with the world.

7. Never let anyone stomp on your dreams.

8. Your body and mind are strong. You are capable of anything. ANYTHING.

9. Always let the music move you when you feel it. Keep on dancing. Keep on dancing in crazy circles in the loungeroom.....

10. Nothing you will ever say will EVER make me not want to hear from you and hear your voice.

11. Hug lots.

12. Always remember how you would excitedly shout out 'FAMILY CUDDLE' and you would hold Daddy and I close.

13. Always be the friend you want others to be.

14. Don't neglect those that are important to you.

15. From the moment you were born, your Daddy and I always tried to surround you with people that were important to us, that helped us to be better people and taught us things. Continue this and know that people have many wonderful, different and important things to offer.

16. Everyone has a story to tell.

17. Raw sugar on the top of a hot bowl of porridge is the way to go.

18. Drink lots of water, every day.

19. Always keep a jar of vegemite in the cupboard.

20. See the world. Already, at three years old, you can point out and name several countries on your world map. Your curiosity amazes me, and when someone mentions a country you ask me to point it out on your map. Keep asking questions about the world and see as much as you can through your own eyes.

21. Womanhood is a gift.

22. Study hard. Work hard.

23. If you don't risk, you'll never know.

24. Enjoy what you are doing, in the moment you are doing it. Don't wish years or times away.

25. Your heart will be broken. Bad things can happen. But you will be okay.

26. Listen to your body. Treat your body with respect.

27. Celebrate your uniqueness. There is NO ONE else in the world exactly like you.

28. Celebrate the uniqueness of your friends, family and those around you.

29. You have the right to use your voice - no matter where you are, or what the topic.

30. There is no such thing as failure. Learn and grow from every experience.

31. You have the right to choose whatever football team you wish to follow. You know how your Daddy & I feel if you choose Collingwood.

32. You have so many family members that love you. Remember how important your family is, and how important you are to them.

33. Good manners are important.

34. Always accept blame for your actions. Learn and grow from this.

35. Laugh. Every day.

36. Look for, cherish and enjoy all the little things around you.

37. If, like me, your hair goes curly as you grow older, always remember a good conditioner works wonders. Don't fight the curls, just go with them....

38. Make exercise a part of your life.

39. Good things come in small packages ..... just as well.....can't do much with the genetic influence of your Daddy & I.

40. Create your own traditions.

41. There will always be a birthday present hiding under the doona for you.

42. Challenge yourself.

43. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Don't be the one to tell someone else that they can't.

44. When I became your Mum, I suddenly realised how my Mum feels about me. I wish the same for you, and know when you become a Mum yourself that you will realise how insane the strength of my love for you is and how I would move heaven and earth for you.

45. Take photos.

46. So many of my smiles begin with you.

47. You are here because two people fell in love.

48. The world is a better place with you in it.

49. I am ALWAYS doing my absolute best for you. You are my world. You are the beat of my heart.

50. You will always be my little girl.



What would you add to your list?


And I'd like to share a couple of images .....Every now and again, Tara is accommodating in letting me pick clothes from her wardrobe other than a bright purple tutu and pink gumboots .... and when she did last weekend I made a dash for the tripod and got a rare photo of the three of us together (well, four, if you count teddy). I love this photo so very much.

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