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I'm Rebecca, the girl behind the camera .... thank you for popping by to say hello.

Rebecca Doyle Photography - the art of capturing precious moments in time.......

Let's Do 52 - {13/52} - What I want ......

.... I want to skip carelessly through sun-soaked fields

I want to feel happiness fill me to the brim, as if I might burst .....

I want to continue feeling the love in my life around me, embracing me.....

..... I want to express my gratitude to all in my life, for the precious reason they are there.

(Let's Do 52 - Week 13. Theme - 'Get Emotional'. Oh, and the alternate theme for the week is 'Look out for curves' and I've just realised I have taken a photo of my behind! Uh oh!)

52 Week Project Photo Paint the Moon Photoshop Actions PSE

Linking up with:
the long road
 then, she {snapped}

Going with my heart

There is definitely something that happens when you become a parent - I don't know whether it is a change to your DNA, neurons firing differently, celestial rotations or a change in alignment of the planets, but whatever it is, that instant I became this little person's Mummy my life changed forever.

I distinctly remember the day, the afternoon, the exact moment, nursing this tiny precious life. When she was 4 weeks old I was hit with an all consuming, overwhelming, encompassing love for this little person.

A love like I never knew.

I was always prepared for the moment that she was born that I may not instantly love this little being. I mean, how could I? I didn't know her? I hadn't yet met her so could I love her straight away.

But I did. Oh my goodness I did.

I remember lying there mere minutes after her birth, just holding her and stroking her little cheek as she nursed (and just HOW did she know to do that straight away??) and telling her over and over how much her Daddy & I loved her.

But then something happened at 4 weeks. A different love. A love I didn't know existed and I never would have been able to comprehend if anyone had told me about it before hand. In this instant I knew I would do absolutely anything in my power possible to protect her. It was there. Instilled in my heart. Unchangeable.

Suddenly I realised I could cause physical harm to anyone who threatened her. Who was this person? I am not a 'hurting people' kind of person - how could I feel so driven? My gosh how could I love someone so much?

When this bolt struck me, I was home on my own with my girl, and I remember sending my husband and my Mum a text message saying "Oh my gosh I just love her so much". I needed to shout it from the roof tops, but at the same time, just didn't know how to comprehend it or wrap my head around
the magnitude of it. My Mum rang me. She understood.

And now my little girl is a few months away from turning 3 (or as she says, "I am two of a half"), and I often find myself reflecting back on the moment, and all the moments that followed when the intensity of my love and my fierceness to protect her started defining me and my relationship with her.

My daughter has been in childcare for the last 18 months, just 2 days a week. For some reason, the last 3-4 months she hasn't been going too well with this. My husband & I were picking up on little cues from her, and always asking more and more questions at the centre about how her day was. We were told she had a good day - we couldn't work out why she was getting so sad there.

We started to think about taking her out of the centre. Perhaps it wasn't the best fit for her? It is tricky when you are the parent though isn't it? There are emotions involved. And of course you want them to be the best possible little individual they can be. I found an inner conflict of wanting to teach her resilience and strength of character, and knowing that the socialisation was good for her. But I am her Mummy. My number 1 job is to look after her. I just didn't know what to do.

The last couple of weeks we have found out she has had some really miserable times there, and for the last few months the carers have been worried about her because she was so different to her usual self - very quiet, sitting on her own, eating less, standing at the door with her little bag on her back waiting to be picked up (I can't even write that without blubbering at the thought of that) - but they didn't share their concerns with us. None of them. And that gives me a pain in my stomach.

All kind of variables started to work their way into me trying to figure out the situation - should I change her routine, should I give up work, we have mortgage payments, am I not giving her enough time to adapt......

But then I knew the answer - I needed to go with what my heart and my gut were telling me.

It then became easier to know what to do.

It is a bit sad to have to finish her up at a place where she has little friends and has been going for some while, but my heart just breaks at the thought of her being miserable there. I am not for a moment saying that anything sinister or evil has happened there, but there has been several things concern us and she has certainly been enduring a bad experience for a few months.

I guess as she grows I am going to be faced with many more decisions, and will no doubt often spend countless hours working out what is the best thing to do. Where are her best interests? How can I look after her? Some decisions will be easy (I hope!) and I'm sure some will pull on all my heart strings and emotions.

I think I need to remind myself that if I listen to my heart, and to my gut, all will be okay.

And I wanted to share some pictures with you, that are very special to me - some moments in the hospital when we welcomed Tara into the world. (My personal fave is taken just a few hours after she was born, when my she and my husband lay down on the bed together and had a sleep - I could not resist taking a photo of brand new Daddy's protective hand).

I took a series of photos about a year ago, playing around with the self-timer on my camera - these are two of my faves :)

And this one I took about 6 months ago. Oh that face!

The Paper Mama Photo Challenge

 then, she {snapped}Sweet Shot DayPhotobucket
Happily Mother AfterThe Paper Mama Photo

Let's Do 52 - {12/52} - Vintage Tractor Charm

I loved this little find .... a couple of pieces of rusty old farm machinery dotted into an overgrown field of grass, weeds and wild flowers. This 'Fordson Major' tractor was beautiful in all its rust, cobwebs and dust, lit by the afternoon warm sun, and somehow still stoic-looking, even though it no doubt had seen better days. To me, it had a certain 'Vintage Charm'.

52 Week Project Photo Paint the Moon Photoshop Actions PSEand
 then, she {snapped}Photobucket

Let's Do 52 - {11/52} - Back home

This week's theme for the 'Paint the Moon's' Let's Do 52 is Beauty in the everyday details ..... and I must admit, for the first time in this challenge I got a little tripped up for a while. I wanted to use this year long challenge as a push to get me to think outside the square somewhat, and see how I could apply my take on the themes......

But as the week neared an end, my husband arrived home from overseas - the last couple of months he has been away more than he has been home, and my daughter & I have missed him immensly. I woke up one morning, and there it was, his toothbrush back next to mine, right where it belongs. So yes, I have taken a photo of toothbrushes! And I'm not quite sure whether anyone else will want to see our tootbrushes ... but to me, this perfectly summed up the beauty in the everyday details.

52 Week Project Photo Paint the Moon Photoshop Actions PSEand
 then, she {snapped}Sunday Snapshot

{Campbell family} - sneak peek

I had a fabulous morning yesterday exploring and running around the park in the warm Canberra sunshine, with the gorgeous Campbell family, for some fun family shots as they welcome brand new little Ferghus into the world.

Fortunately wearing my comfy shoes, I chased and followed beautiful Seumas ... there was bubble blowing, duck hunting, Wiggles singing, swing swinging, and at one stage he was a monkey in a tree and I had an elephant sticker on my head.....

Thank you Moira & Callum for a fun session with you and your boys ... please enjoy this sneak peek of your photos.

They are a beautiful family aren't they! And check out this little bundle of fun....

At the start of the session, in an effort to get Seumas in nice & close for the photos, we had him kissing his little brother Ferghus .... and then everytime he would come near Ferghus, sweet Seumas kept puckering up and covering Ferghus with kisses. Needless to say, I ended up with a few photos of the top of Seumas's head :)

And here is the beautiful little man Ferghus .....

Chocolate banana cake

I was inspired by a recent posting by a 365-er friend, of a quick & easy chocolate banana cake .... and with a Public Holiday here in Canberra today, Tara and I thoroughly enjoyed the no work/childcare day and instead smooshed bananas, ate the chocolate designated for the cake, and eventually whipped up two cakes (she wanted a "small one for Tara").

 then, she {snapped}

A package deal - Wordless Wednesday #7 & 'Let's Do 52' - {10-52}

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Linking up with:
and then, she {snapped}The Paper MamaLive and Love...Out LoudNapTime MomTogScattered Horizons Photobucket

And I will need to add some words......
This week's theme for 'Let's Do 52' is 'Monochrome tones', with an alternate theme choice of 'The Perfect Pair' ...... thought I would cover both this week :)

My husband and I sharing a cup of coffee .......
I love this so much.....
.... and we are making more of an effort to try and sit down in our hectic days and 'catch up'. And I guess it sounds a little silly to say that we are trying to make time for that - but it is amazing with all that keeps us busy, particularly our little girl, that simple pleasures like this often get overlooked
52 Week Project Photo Paint the Moon Photoshop Actions PSE
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